Send/Receive

I have a very hard time waiting for things. I remember my frustration with the postal service when awaiting a letter in the mail from a long distance friend. Then the frustration over telephone calls before answering machines became popular. With the introduction of the Internet came the familiar buzz of the dial up, and the all too common busy signal. While every new advancement brought increased efficiencies I still found fault in having to 'wait'.
As of late my frustrations have turned to email. I now have a new nightly routine where I sit at my computer and incessantly press the Send/Receive button in my email program. I am waiting for communication from my husband. With his new job came limited opportunities for us to have free-flowing conversations back and forth. So I send him a message and then hit Send/Receive until I get a response, as if I am somehow able to control the speed at which emails travel.
I've had some time to analyze this somewhat bizarre behavior, and finally tonight came an epiphany! It isn't impatience that fuels my constant finger pokes. Rather, it is an attempt to speed up communication to somehow enable the conversations to feel more instantaneous as they would if Mark were standing right before me. Ultimately, albeit unrealistically, what I am hoping to accomplish is Mark's actual physical presence on the seat beside me. Just as the letters that arrived in the mail could not make my best friend appear on my doorstep, neither are the words on my screen capable of allowing me to rest my head on Mark's shoulder as he tells me about his night. But still, I will poke on, and with each repetitive motion hold on to the hope that one day it just might work. ;-)

November? When did that happen?

I am always in such shock with how fast the year goes by. Of course this year has been such a blur with all that has gone on with our business. But now things are finally starting to slow down a bit. I've been outside two days in a row walking the dog and enjoying the fall colors during the middle of the afternoon. It feels so great to not have to rush home from work and try to figure out what to make for supper. I love having the time now to make us all breakfast and pack Mark a lunch for his 11:30 p.m. break. Every day the stresses are a bit less.